So...

I admit. Lately i've been off.
Apart from using this as a boredum communicater from my phone, I've been lacking in everyone of the few skills I have. My writing's boring, my photography is un intresting, my social skills are more than akward. I don't really know who I am anymore.
The pain still hurts. Reminders of him keep popping up everywhere I look.
At church, someone behind me starts playing our old song on the guitar.
In school, my teachers tells a story about a Kroger supermarker- where he used to work.
At soccer, a new kid comes to soccer who looks, talks, acts, and oddly smells like him.
I thought I was over it. I thought that after being blown off so much when it should've been the other way around, I would be furious at him. I would forget. I would move on.
That proves to be harder then it sounds.

I'm fighting for my heart here, and my most recent let down is helping.

Epcot

On the bus goin to disney world for a feild trip.

My final costume for "One Acts" night. I've never felt more beautiful and appreciated before. The most popular girl in school even told me i did great. The man of my dreams... He was there too.

Enchanted

I saw the most adorable movie tonight with Nina [11/21]. Enchanted was probably one of the more heartwarming films I've seen in some time. We ended up getting up and dancing in the middle of the movie because of how light hearted it made us. When the movie was over we were discussing how we would wear our Princess-like prom dresses to the movie when we see it again with our friend Jenn. Which seems like a fantastic idea, well- until now. So- I got home and went in my room, and feeling giddy and happy I was going to put on my dress and just dance in my room. Well, it didn't happen. I put on my dress, and bam, it didn't fit. It seemed like it was five sizes too small. Like- it was years ago that I bought this. I've gained way too much weight, and thats ending. I don't care what I do- but its ending. I hate this. I have nothing to blame it on but myself. I tried to find a explanation for it, like a disease or tumor, but no that's not it. It's purely me being huge and needed to shed off weight. I hate feeling like the Peter Griffin of my friends, it doesn't work that way.

I need to wear that dress to Metrocon next summer, so as God is my witness- I will loose the weight.

I will fit into that dress again.

Just wait and see.

You do not have to live like this.
You do not have to live like this.
You do not have to live like this.
You do not have to live like this.
You do not have to live like this.
You do not have to live like this.

Bubba Gumps

Hence why We're awesome. It says "Go Pats! No charge for drinks for the fellow Patriots! Thanks!"

Just testing. :]